Revolution Nine
by Shynola
Summary: Returning from a not-so-innocent trip, the TARDIS and the Doctor are behaving strangely. That's when it all goes horribly wrong. Early Series Five, pre-Rory. I apologise for my inability to write a decent summary. Read anyways?
1. Chapter 1

_A/N - Hello! This is something that pounced on me in the car while I was listening to The Beatles. It's kind of writing itself. Let me know what you think, etc. etc. I'm a feedback junkie. I'm aware that it's short and probably full of errors, but it's late, and I'm tired._

_This is set somewhere in the beginning of Series Five, pre-Rory. It just turned out like that, don't hate me._

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own Doctor Who, I am just a sad fangirl with no life. Nor do I own The Beatles (Paul and Ringo, I guess), I am just a sad fangirl who has no life but still gets inspired.**

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><p>"Come on, come on; where's a TARDIS key when you need one?"<p>

"Fast as you like, Doctor."

"I _know_ it's here somewhere -"

"Hurry up!"

The Doctor gave up searching his pockets and snapped his fingers. The TARDIS door swung open and two figures dived inside, slamming the door just in time for a hunting knife to land, quivering, where the Doctor's head had been just moments before.

"Next time you can try that _before_ emptying your hundreds of pockets, yes?" Amy said crossly.

"My TARDIS, my decisions," the Doctor grinned.

"Well, if I looked like you, I wouldn't mind dying so much either," Amy quipped.

"Shut it, Pond." He shoved her playfully and bounded up the steps to pilot the TARDIS back into the Time Vortex before the owner of the hunting knife caught up with them.

Several stomach-churning minutes later, they were drifting in deep space as the Doctor went below the glass floor to take care of some rewiring. Amy was sitting on a chair, waiting for her stomach to stop doing somersaults and trying to regain control of her balance. She felt very dizzy, and was certain that the TARDIS had gone upside-down several times. When she asked the Doctor about this, he quickly changed the subject, which only reaffirmed Amy's conviction.

The TARDIS hummed unusually loudly and the Doctor reappeared in an instant, frowning in concern.

"What's up, dear?" he said, flicking a switch on the console. The TARDIS hummed more loudly, the note increasing in pitch. "Sorry, sorry; I should have known. Let's see what's the matter." He pulled the scanner round and ran a couple of diagnostics. Amy left her seat, worried at the Doctor's expression, which quite clearly said that something was very, very wrong.

"What's wrong?" she asked.

"No idea," the Doctor said truthfully, dashing around the console to push a few buttons. The TARDIS screeched like a microphone with feedback and he quickly returned the buttons to their off-positions as Amy winced.

"Why is she doing that?" Amy said, feeling fairly sure that her hearing was permanently damaged.

"She's in pain," the Doctor said, frowning and laying a loving hand on the console. "What's wrong old girl, hey? Come on. I know you can hear me, so tell me what's wrong. I can fix you."

"Doctor, please tell me what's going on," Amy said.

"Shut up," he silenced her.

"Oi!"

"No, seriously, shut up, I'm trying to listen," the Doctor held up his hand to prevent her from talking again and closed his eyes, trying to investigate the TARDIS more thoroughly through their telepathic link.

Suddenly, his head was filled with an awful, high-pitched screeching, an endless, agonizing sound that reverberated between his ears and drowned out everything else in existence. He fell to his knees, clutching his head, and collapsed to the floor with a scream of pain as Amy shook his shoulder desperately, shouting for him to open his eyes. She slapped him twice in an effort to make him open his eyes, but nothing happened. The Doctor remained in a heap on the floor, still holding his hands tight over his ears and seemingly oblivious to everything else around him. He yelled again, feeling sick. He wasn't sure how much more pain he could take.

As quickly as it had started, it stopped, leaving nothing but a faint ringing in his ears as he gave up, and fell backwards into unconsciousness.

Amy breathed a sigh of relief as he relaxed, thinking that whatever had been bothering him had left, but when he remained unconscious and floppy, she grew worried again and tried to bring him round. Nothing worked - not even threatening to get up and pilot the TARDIS to whoever could help there and then.

She wiped away a tear and was on the verge of giving up when a groan from the floor announced the Doctor's return to his conscious mind. He gritted his teeth and blinked a few times, shielding his eyes from the bright lights, and at the same time demonstrated all the signs of someone who was suffering from a severe headache.

"Next time I pass out, I'd prefer to wake up in a nice comfy bed than the floor," he said grumpily.

"Oh yes, because let's face it, it would be _so_ easy for me to carry you _up a ladder_ because you insist on having a bunk bed," Amy said sarcastically. "Are you all right?"

"Bunk beds are cool," the Doctor muttered. Amy smiled briefly, wondering how he managed to remain ridiculous even when he was in pain. He grimaced as another wave of pain washed over him. "And no, I am _not_ all right."

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><p><em>AN - Show your stripes and leave me a review? Fanks lovelies. Oh, and tell me if you want more, or if I should just go and die in a hole now and stop shaming humanity._


	2. Chapter 2

_A/N - You guys are so lovely. I promise I won't go and live in a hole, okay? Okay. Thank you to everyone who has put me on alert and whatever, you make me feel so special. Particular love to reviewers because they're so ace (special love to _Lillibella _who I couldn't reply to, sadface).  
>Once again, it's late, and I'm tired, so I bet there's typos. For some reason I can only write late at night. idk. I'll shut up now and we can get on with things.<em>

**DISCLAIMER: I own nothing but the plot, which is all mine. Do you hear me? _Mine._**

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><p>The Doctor sat up far too quickly and shut his eyes, fighting back nausea and waiting for the room to stop spinning. <em>What the hell was wrong with him?<em>

"Can I get you anything?" Amy asked, trying to sound less worried than she felt.

"No, I'll be fine in a minute," the Doctor said, getting slowly to his feet and leaning against the console. He closed his eyes again and rubbed his aching head, as if that would somehow take the pain away. The TARDIS dimmed the lights and the noise of the engines decreased.

"Thanks, dear," he muttered. "Now then, what's the matter?" He went to run a scan and a fuse blew underneath his fingers. He jumped and withdrew his hand instantly, inspecting his fingertips to make sure they weren't burnt, and scowled. "What was that for?" he said indignantly. The TARDIS hummed sadly.

"Doctor, what's going on?" Amy interjected. From where she was standing, all she could see was an impossible madman talking to an impossible bigger-on-the-inside box.

"Something's wrong with the TARDIS, and since it's being shared across the telepathic circuits, there's something wrong with _me_ as well," he explained irritably. "I would have thought that was obvious."

Amy was taken aback, and more than a little hurt. "All right, no need to be like that," she said.

"Sorry. I don't know why I said that," the Doctor said.

"Are you sure I can't get you something for that headache?" Amy said.

"No - allergies," he explained, and turned back to the TARDIS. "Come on, old girl, give us a bit back. We've got to get rid of this thing."

The TARDIS hummed again, but the Doctor remained unperturbed. "All of the scans are completely normal, so whatever it is, it's clever," he said to no one in particular. "Let's see, telepathic circuits. Maybe I just need to do some rewiring? Is there dust on the transistors? No, no, there can't be, I fixed those circuits a week ago, if that. So it's got to be something external that's got inside."

The TARDIS hummed again, but it wasn't the usual harmonic note she produced when the Doctor was talking to himself. It was off-key, and ominous. To Amy, it sounded like a warning.

"Doctor, that doesn't sound good," she said warily. He ignored her and took to dashing around the console again at breakneck speed. "Hey!" Amy said, as he almost tripped over her. She stood up and stopped him from running. "Listen to the TARDIS. This is what she was doing last time you started doing that, and look what happened then."

The Doctor shook his head. The ringing was back - it was faint, almost indiscernible, but it was definitely there and had the potential to get louder again. But what was he supposed to do? If he didn't find out what was wrong, he'd be stuck like this forever, and that was _not_ going to happen.

"Maybe I just need to take her back into the Vortex. That might filter it out," he said, thinking out loud again. Amy let him go, but as soon as he tried to move the TARDIS, she screeched and let off another fuse, sending the Doctor leaping backwards again.

"What's going on? Why can't we take off?" Amy demanded, though she thought she knew.

"This _thing_ - whatever it is - is stopping us from going anywhere. In order for us to actually go somewhere and not drift in deep space for the rest of our lives, I need to figure it out and get rid of it," the Doctor explained. "Only trouble is, the telepathic circuits seem to be completely shot and that's going to make fixing her twice as hard."

"Can't you just fix the circuits then?" Amy said.

"I have to get rid of this thing first, or I'll end up wiring it into the TARDIS mainframe and then we'll both be stuck like this," he said, running a hand through his hair. "This is going to be difficult."

"No time like the present," Amy said, gesturing at the console. The Doctor went back to it and began his monologue again.

"From what I've seen, it must be some sort of infection," he said to the room at large. "Like humans - there are viruses that get into your brain and cause hallucinations and all sorts. They can completely change who a person is in a matter of days. Well, this is just like that, only without the fever, the joint pain, the rashes - all of those physical symptoms aren't present because this is a telepathic virus. Which means that it's come from a planet where there has to be at least low-grade telepathy. Which means it must have come from -" The rest of his sentence was cut off by the return of the impossibly high-pitched screech in his ears and he fell to his knees again, clutching his head. The pain was terrible - but he had to fight it off, had to stay conscious. He had to work out what was causing this and kick it so far out it wouldn't think twice about coming back again.

"Doctor!" Amy brought him out of his thoughts and he looked at her desperately, biting back a scream of pain. "What do I do?"

"Distract me," he gasped.

"With what?" Amy said, bewildered. How was she supposed to confuse _him?_ It was always the other way around.

"I'm really not fussed about subject matter right now!" the Doctor yelled, now fighting to stay conscious.

Amy glanced around the room, searching for something to distract him with. Nothing.

"I still haven't forgiven you, you know," she said, almost casually, as if they were discussing the weather.

"For what?" the Doctor demanded. "I didn't do anything!"

"Yes, you did," Amy said. "You said five minutes, Doctor. _Five minutes._ Do you realise how long five minutes is to a seven-year-old?"

"I know, I'm sorry -"

"No, you're not. If you were sorry, you would have gone back and changed it. But _oh no_, you had to go and take _twelve years_, didn't you? Twelve years, Doctor! _Twelve!_ I know that isn't much to you because you're nine hundred, for crying out loud, but do you know how long that is for me? That's over _half of my life!_ I wasted half of my life telling myself you'd come back, that I must have misheard you. Five minutes turned into five weeks, then five months, then five years, and do you know what it was then? Do you?" Amy realised that the Doctor wasn't looking at her and she slapped him across the cheek. "Oi! You will listen to me when I'm talking to you, do you hear me? I was prepared to spend five _lifetimes_ waiting for you, so you can stop thinking about that headache and start listening to me!" The Doctor sighed heavily and went limp again, dropping his hands. Amy assumed he had passed out again and shook his shoulders. "Don't you dare pass out on me!" she yelled angrily.

"I haven't!" the Doctor muttered indignantly, sitting back against the console again and sighing. "Thank you. Good distracting," he said. He tried to smile at her, but the memory of what she had just said was already plaguing him. _She said she wasted her life waiting for me._

"I'm sorry for shouting," Amy said. "But you said to distract you and I figured that was better than you being unconscious again."

"Yeah. Thanks," he said awkwardly. "Did you mean it?"

"What?" Amy said, bewildered.

"You said you wasted half your life waiting for me. Did you mean that?" he asked, looking utterly dejected.

"Of course I didn't, you idiot," she said, pulling him into a hug. "I wouldn't have had it any other way."

"Good," the Doctor grinned. "Anyway, I figured out what's wrong - or some of it, anyway. Whatever this thing is, it's programmed to get worse before it gets better. On top of that, the more I try to investigate, the more it's going to attack. Which means, I'm afraid, that we're going to have to do that again, so you'd better find something else to yell at me for," he grinned.

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><p><em>AN - (insert shameless request for reviews here)_

_I might not be able to update for a couple of days because I'm going to be pretty busy what with Prom/After-Party and going on holiday. I'll be back before the weekend though, promise. _


	3. Chapter 3

_A/N - Okay, okay, I know that I lied and it's been forever. I am incredibly sorry about that. Nun-chucks DOWN. In fairness life got mental and I'm now actually on holiday on the boat, and I don't get all that much free time. I'm aiming to update at least once a week, but probably more often.  
>Thank you to everyone for being awesome and sticking with me. I know I'm the most annoying human being, but you love me really. I'm aware of my crappy skills but it is late and I am tired and my brother is snoring and it's raining, okay? Okay.<em>

**DISCLAIMER: Plot is mine, nothing else is. **

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><p>Amy pulled the Doctor to his feet and he swayed slightly, leaning heavily on her. "Blimey, I haven't felt this bad in a while," he groaned, rubbing his head again.<p>

"Anything you can do?" Amy said, feeling rather useless.

"I could try and shut down the telepathic circuits," the Doctor said, leaning across the console for a set of purple levers. At once the TARDIS squealed and catapulted him across the room, where he landed heavily in a chair. "All right, I won't!" he yelled at his machine, and Amy struggled to contain a grin.

"You know, there are other ways to ask me not to do things than throwing me across the room, old girl," he said grumpily. His expression softened as she hummed sadly. "I know you're hurting and I know you're scared for me, but we'll sort this, eventually," he said kindly.

"Isn't there another way of getting rid of this thing, other than using the TARDIS?" Amy said. "I mean, couldn't you use something that's _inside_ the TARDIS, rather than her?"

"I could," the Doctor said, his forehead furrowing as he considered the problem. It was so very difficult to think clearly with a headache. "Yes, probably. I'd say anything was worth a shot, wouldn't you? I need to get some things; I'll be back in a minute. Stay here and make sure we don't get flung off into the Vortex, won't you?" he dashed towards the staircase.

"What am I supposed to do if we do?" Amy shouted after him.

"I dunno, shout for me, push some buttons and hope!" His voice echoed back from the corridor as he disappeared, and Amy sighed, flopping onto a chair. The TARDIS hummed gloomily. "It's all right, he'll be back soon and then he'll fix you," Amy said reassuringly.

Several minutes later the Doctor staggered into the console room laden down with a vast array of items which wouldn't have looked out of place at a jumble sale. Several loops of wire were draped around his neck. He had abandoned his jacket at some point, rolled up his sleeves and stuck his screwdriver behind his ear, and looked ready to collapse under the pile of junk he was carrying. Amy jumped up to help as it cascaded to the floor and caught the Doctor as he stumbled and almost fell.

"You all right?" she said.

"Yeah. That noise is back, but it's not too bad. I've just got to get this lot into working order, and we're away," he said, throwing the wire to the floor and sitting down in the middle of the pile, looking every inch the cosmic nine-year-old.

"Care to explain how you're going to fix the TARDIS with a hand-held whisk and an old egg box?" Amy grinned, throwing a ball of string at him.

"Shh. Concentrating," he said absently, picking up a manual which illustrated how to build what looked like a Large Hadron Collider. After turning it upside down and flicking through it, he tossed it over his shoulder, muttering something about a supermassive black hole.

Amy retreated to her seat, watching the Doctor work. There was something strangely fascinating about the way he examined each object before attaching it to the device he was making, or, much more often, hurling it across the room. There was already a large pile of unwanted items strewn across the room. At first, Amy had attempted to keep them all in one place, so that when the Doctor was finished he could shove it all back to wherever it came from, but after a renegade boot narrowly missed her head, she decided she was safer out of the firing line.

Half an hour passed before the Doctor looked up again, but when he did, it was obvious that his headache was coming back with a vengeance.

"Amy," he said desperately, "I need you to shout at me again."

"What for?" Amy asked, bewildered. "You said it wouldn't hurt you or the TARDIS, doing this."

"I rerouted a couple of the circuits," the Doctor whispered. "Changed a thing or two in the telepathic link so that I'm feeling it more than her. Can't have my TARDIS in pain, not for anything. Don't say anything, or she'll change it back. That means I'm finding it more difficult to concentrate, because I have to block that part of my mind to her." He raised his voice back to a normal level. "Anyway, if you wouldn't mind distracting me, that would be lovely, or we'll be here until Christmas, and I haven't got you a present yet."

"Keep working and talk to me," Amy said. "You're best distracted when you're working and talking, so go for it. Explain all that spacey stuff to me."

"Like what?" the Doctor said, turning back to his device and contemplating several Lego bricks. After careful consideration, the blue ones were discarded and the red were kept.

"Like the Universe, for example. Earth. Explain how they began." Amy sat back in her chair.

"Well, you know about the Big Bang, yes?" the Doctor said, still engrossed in his contraption and an old toothbrush. "An explosion occurred, big enough to create the Universe, which is still expanding today. In the early stages there weren't any big planets or stars - just chunks of dust and gas floating around in space. Imagine a whole load of asteroids floating around in space, crashing into one another with enough force that two of them fuse together to form one rock. That keeps happening until one day, one big rock has enough gravity that it starts pulling in smaller rocks, and then a planet is formed. Stars are basically the same - dust and gas is pulled in, finding a balance, until it just happens to form a star. It's beautiful, watching a star being born. I'll take you to see one sometime. And maybe a supernova, too, those are good. Outer Space fireworks. We'll just have to make sure we don't get _too_ close, in case it collapses back in on itself and next thing we know, we're inside a black hole. Love to go inside a black hole though, just to see what's on the other side." He picked up the wire, stripped the ends of it and attached the hand-held whisk. "Some people say it's another dimension." He turned the handle and several lights flashed along the top of a miniature set of traffic lights he had installed.

"There!" he said, leaping to his feet and proudly presenting his device to Amy, whose eyelids had been drooping. "That should do it." He set the device down on the console and Amy stood up quickly as his knees buckled again.

"Why don't you sit down for a minute?" she said, pulling him up again. He didn't respond, but instead groaned and massaged his head. "Is that headache back?" Amy asked.

"Yeah, and it's worse," the Doctor muttered, and stumbled backwards until he fell onto the chair, closing his eyes. Something warm and wet trickled down his face and he opened his eyes again, raising a hand to wipe away whatever it was. His hand came away with scarlet droplets on it. Blood. "Amy," he said, and tried to stand up before his vision went black and he collapsed to the floor again.

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><p><em>AN - Purely because I've been so awful at life you may pitchfork at me and hurl nun-chucks. Take advantage, this isn't going to be a regular allowance._

_Also, make me happy and review? _


	4. Chapter 4

_A/N - So I was going to get this to you yesterday, but I've been feeling pretty yuck and my internet died on me last night as I was just about to post it. Anyway, I'm feeling better now, so have this._

_Since I'm currently at sea the internet is intermittent at best, so if I haven't been able to reply to your reviews I am truly sorry but there's nothing I can do. Have your love now. _I love you. Thank you. You are ace.  
><em>Also, thank you to the crazy people who have put me on alert and whatever, you're very kind.<em>

**DISCLAIMER: Nope, still don't own. Check back later.**

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><p>Amy Pond was no doctor, but she didn't need a degree in medicine to tell her that nosebleeds and passing out wasn't a good sign for anyone, human or Time Lord. As she heaved the Doctor into a sitting position, pinching his nose and trying to ignore the blood on her hands, she replayed the past half hour in her head. She knew he'd tried to block out most of the pain for the TARDIS, and she supposed he must have succeeded, because the ship did indeed seem much happier. However, that meant that he was taking the full force of whatever it was - by now she had assumed it was some kind of virus - and that couldn't possibly have been good for him.<p>

His nose had stopped bleeding by now and she shook him gently by the shoulder, trying to wake him up. "Doctor. Oi, wake up."

He did nothing but sigh and shift slightly, and Amy could only assume that he had fallen asleep. Hoping that he wouldn't wake up while she was gone, she disappeared into the kitchen and returned several minutes later with a thermos of tea and a large bar of Cadbury's chocolate, then sat down cross-legged in front of him, waiting for him to wake up.

It took perhaps another ten minutes for the Doctor to come round again. Amy smiled as he muttered something that sounded like a curse and opened his eyes.

"Hello," Amy said, and before he could say another word, she shoved a piece of chocolate into his mouth. He frowned questioningly at her as she handed him a steaming mug of tea, swallowed, and then spoke again.

"And _why_ are you shoving things into my mouth now?" he said.

"Tea and Cadbury's," Amy explained. "It always makes me feel a bit better."

"Thank you," he smiled, and accepted another piece of chocolate. He knew it wouldn't have any effect on the Something that had invaded his TARDIS, but he had to admit that it _was_ making him feel just a little bit better. Aside from that, it was making Amy feel better, too - he knew she'd been feeling pretty useless, and he didn't want that.

He drained his mug of tea and jumped to his feet, feeling much better. He couldn't quite explain it, but there was something very comforting about sharing tea and chocolate with your best friend. He pulled Amy into a hug, trying to put a lot of unsaid things into it, then pulled back and kissed her forehead lightly, smiling.

"Anyway," he said, rubbing his hands together and reaching for the contraption he had made earlier. "Better get back to it." He began to wind the handle and the lights flashed again.

"What is that thing?" Amy said, watching the Doctor as he simultaneously wound the handle, plugged a lead into the console and pushed his hair back out of his eyes and feeling certain that he must be hiding an extra hand somewhere.

"This?" the Doctor said, holding up the whatever-it-was. "Undetectable Detector. Brilliant piece of kit, even if I say so myself."

"Undetectable Detector…" Amy said slowly, frowning.

"Yeah," the Doctor said, winding the handle furiously again. "In theory, I should be able to detect whatever has got into the TARDIS without it detecting me. Pretty cool, huh?""Cool. Yeah, let's go with that," Amy grinned. "You want me to wind that thing for you?"

The Doctor shook his head. "Absolutely not. If this virus thing does detect the Undetectable Detector, it might think you're me, and then we really are in trouble."

"Why? What's it gonna do to me?" Amy asked curiously.

"As far as I can tell, it would mess with your head," the Doctor said, not quite meeting her eyes.

"Would it be as bad as you've had it?" Amy pressed, feeling certain that he wasn't telling her everything.

"It's hard to say." the Doctor kept his eyes on the console, refusing to look at her.

"Shut up lying and tell me the truth," Amy folded her arms and fixed him with a stare that would have sent many a courageous man running for the hills. The Doctor opened his mouth to deliver a quick lie, and faltered under her piercing gaze.

"No, it wouldn't be half as bad," he said, and then went on to explain without pausing so that she couldn't interrupt. "Humans have next to nothing in their telepathic cortex - that's an area in your brain, by the way. Used to take up rather a lot of space in your brain; now it's about as useful as your tonsils. The telepathic cortex is never used unless it's disturbed by something, like another telepathic being, for instance."

"So why can't I -"

"Amy, I'm not going to let anything mess with your head. Ever. And I'm certainly not going to let you sit through who knows how much pain instead of me." The Doctor turned back to the console without another word, and Amy knew it would be useless to argue any further. That didn't stop her from being angry with him, however, and she watched him from one of the chairs as he worked, arms folded and legs crossed.

Neither of them spoke for a while, and it was the Doctor who broke the silence, throwing the Undetectable Detector unceremoniously onto the console and shutting his eyes tightly against a wave of pain.

"No, no, no!" he yelled, kicking the console viciously and achieving nothing but a sore foot. Amy looked up to see him hopping around on one foot, cursing loudly and clearly fighting off another headache.

"What's wrong?" she said.

"This thing is attacking me again," he said distractedly, and slapped himself around the face as he almost passed out again. _No,_ said a small but fierce voice at the back of his mind. _No. There's been quite enough of that today. Shut up. Open your eyes. Get on with it. You're never going to get rid of this thing unless you work on it and you are not passing out again, not now, not ever._

His eyes snapped open again and he grabbed his invention, winding the handle furiously and ignoring the pain. _Come on, come on, you can do this. Almost there._ His knees buckled and he met the floor rather harder than he would have liked, but kept the handle turning just as quickly nonetheless.

Amy leapt up from her seat as soon as he fell and crouched beside him, ready to do anything she could to help.

"What's wrong?" she asked.

"Turns out the Undetectable Detector is quite so undetectable," he said shortly, concentrating on staying conscious.

"What are you going to do about it?" Amy said.

"Nothing I can do except going. I think this is going to hurt, and I need to keep turning this handle no matter what. You use any means necessary to keep me awake," the Doctor said fiercely, fire burning behind his eyes. "I am getting rid of this thing and I am getting rid of it now. Got it?"

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><p><em>AN - If you have never had tea and Cadbury's I strongly suggest you abandon whatever it is you are doing and try it. It is beautiful._

_Reviews are love and love is brilliant. :)_


	5. Chapter 5

_A/N - Unfortunately I have spent the last couple of days totally devoid of mains power in the middle of a river, so that meant no updating for me. However, I've now rejoined the twenty-first century so no worries.  
>I had planned to get this out earlier today but I was feeling pretty horrendous<em> _about a lot of stuff and yeah. Go stalk me on Tumblr for a full explanation. I'll shut up now._

**DISCLAIMER: Don't own. Go away.**

_As ever, thankyouthankyou**thankyou** to those of you who took the time to review and stuff. You save my life, you really do. My internet doesn't have its sea legs yet so I might not have been able to thank you properly, but I swear that I mean it._

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><p>Amy wasn't quite sure how she managed to keep the Doctor both upright and conscious. Both tasks proved extremely difficult - despite his lanky frame, the Doctor was heavier than he looked - and the ten minutes it took to run the Undetectable Detector seemed to be the longest of her life.<p>

Nonetheless, she managed the situation well and as soon as the scan had been run, the Doctor had devised a plan for getting rid of the virus that had invaded the TARDIS. The Doctor had just begun to explain that it would require a black hole and a long length of very strong rope when he promptly collapsed for what felt like the millionth time that day. Amy, who was by now used to this and recognised the symptoms, caught him deftly and staggered with him to the nearest chair, waiting for him to come round.

It didn't take long for the Doctor to spring to his feet and start talking again at ninety miles an hour as if nothing had happened at all.

"Like I say, Pond, a black hole and a long rope strong enough to hold several very cross woolly mammoths. Basically I'm going to draw this thing out of the TARDIS circuits, into my head - well, not exactly into my head, more like into the room, but you know what I mean - and then I'm hopefully going to manage something very brilliant and clever in the space of about ten seconds." By the time he had finished talking, Amy's head was reeling, and she was still trying to comprehend why _woolly mammoths_ of all things were crossing his mind at a time like this.

"So, what happens if it all goes horribly wrong?" Amy said apprehensively.

"Well…" the Doctor stalled, trying to look as if he was far too busy to possibly answer her question.

"Doctor." Her tone did not leave room for discussion.

"Well, there isn't really a nice way of putting this. We'd get sucked into a black hole." the Doctor grinned. "See, it isn't _that_ bad!" Before Amy had a chance to release a tidal wave of Scottish fury over him, he had disappeared under the glass floor and returned moments later with a large coil of thick rope over his shoulder. In a moment, he had one end tied around the railings and the TARDIS heading straight for the nearest black hole.

As he tied the other end of the rope around his waist, Amy reached out to grab his arm.

"Woah, woah. What are you doing?" she demanded.

The Doctor flicked a switch on the console and the TARDIS doors opened, revealing a black hole just beneath them. For a moment they both stared at it, utterly transfixed by its unstoppable power.

"You know how I sometimes have really good ideas?" the Doctor said, without breaking eye contact with the black hole.

"Yes…" Amy said apprehensively.

"Sorry!" he said, and ran out of the doors.

As soon as he left the safety of the TARDIS, he felt the tug of the black hole beneath him. As he fell, he had managed to gain a firm grip on the bottom ledge of the TARDIS and was he was now hanging precariously, with nothing but a rope as a safety precaution, at the edge of a black hole. He glanced beneath him and saw a cluster of asteroids pass the event horizon and get sucked in so quickly that they were gone in the blink of an eye.

He shut his eyes tightly and raided his brain. It didn't take long to find the virus, but it took a certain amount of mental struggle and a near-disastrous slip of the fingertips to get rid of it. With an almighty sneeze that would probably defy all Laws of Physics and be transmitted through the silent void, he was finally free.

But they weren't out of the woods yet. With an almighty heave he hauled himself back inside the TARDIS, slammed the doors shut behind him and rocketed them as far away as possible to an empty, far safer section of space, just before the TARDIS was sucked in.

He turned to Amy with a grin on his face - a grin that swiftly disappeared as she slapped him across the face.

"Don't you _dare_ do that again!" she yelled, and he could see that tears were swimming in her eyes. "For all I knew you'd just jumped into a black hole! What the hell were you thinking?"

"I'm sorry," he said sheepishly. "I only meant to get rid of that virus and that was the only way. I didn't mean to scare you, honestly. I just wasn't thinking straight."

"No offence or anything, but that was kind of obvious," Amy said, still looking furious with him. Her expression softened suddenly and she pulled him into such a tight hug that he thought she'd never let go. "Don't you _ever_ do something like that to me again," she mumbled into his shoulder. "I thought I was going to lose you forever."

"That's never going to happen," he said reassuringly. "There's nothing in this universe that could possibly persuade me to leave you all alone forever."

Amy said nothing, but didn't let go. For several very horrible moments she had been certain that that was the end of the Doctor.

He had obviously sensed that something still wasn't right, because he gave her a reassuring squeeze and whispered in her ear. "Hey."

"What?" she asked.

"Gotcha."

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><p><em>AN - I've got a couple of things to wrap up and then we're done here. Mainly because I'm off on expedition for three weeks and there just won't be time for writing. But thank you so very much for sticking with me. I don't know what possibly possessed you to do that, but thank you. I can't tell you how much it means to me._


	6. Chapter 6

_A/N - Okay, okay, I know most of you are probably thinking I fell through a crack in time or whatever. I didn't. Life just got hectic and unpleasant and I had a lot of stuff to deal with that required my full attention. Anyway, I'm having a brief burst of normality here which will hopefully help._

_Thank you to everyone who took the time to review and suchlike, I know that I was an awful human and I didn't reply to some of you but it was honestly because of things that are out of my hands. I would however like to give love to each and every one of you and I would hug you and give you toast if I could because you save my life every day, you really do. Thank you. You are all incredibly wonderful and I do not deserve you._

**DISCLAIMER: Don't own. In other news, grass is green. Obvious facts are obvious.**

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><p>"So, where to now?" Amy asked, as the Doctor threw a switch and sent them hurtling into the Time Vortex. "I don't know about you but I could really do with some warm weather and an empty beach."<p>

"Maybe later," the Doctor said. "There's still something I need to figure out. Someone planted that virus deliberately, and if my theory is correct - and my theories usually are - I know _exactly_ where it came from."

"Where?" Amy said, just as the TARDIS landed smoothly in the middle of a purple rainforest. The Doctor grinned and dashed over to the doors, throwing them open and sticking his head out to inspect the weather.

"We'd better make this a quick visit," he called over to Amy. "It's going to rain in the morning."

Amy frowned as she moved over to join him. "It looks like afternoon to me out there."

"Yes, sorry, should have explained. This is Cadudu III, in the Padawan galaxy. Several hundred years ago, they used to have days and nights like Earth does, but an asteroid knocked the planet right out of orbit until I managed to put it back. Only thing is, I'd put them back the wrong way around, and ever since they've lived their days back-to-front. Morning is still morning in the literal sense, but they call it evening, and vice-versa."

They stepped out of the TARDIS into a small clearing between the purple trees. The forest floor was clear save for a few creeper plants, but the canopy up above was so thick with violet leaves that everything had gained a purplish hue.

A bush rustled nearby rustled and a man tumbled out into their path, raising something that closely resembled a peashooter up to his lips and aiming for Amy.

"Oi!" the Doctor said, lowering the man's peashooter and holding up his hands. "We're not here to engage in battle. Far from it, in fact. No, what I'd _really_ like is for you to take me to your leader." he grinned and rubbed his hands together with glee. "Oh, I never get tired of saying that."

The man said nothing, but turned on his heel and stalked away through the bushes. The Doctor followed instantly, Amy close on his heels. As they walked, she took the opportunity to examine the man in front of them more closely. From the outside, he looked fairly human, with lilac eyes and dark violet skin, with intricate patterns painted onto his arms, chest, face and bald head with a lighter paint. He wore loose, tattered trousers and looked as though he spent his whole life in the forest. His whole body rippled with muscles as he walked and he stood at about five and a half feet tall, with flat, wide feet to match his flat, wide nose.

Just as Amy was beginning to wonder how much further they had to walk, they reached another much larger clearing, with small wooden huts and faintly green smoke rising from the chimneys into the burnt orange sky. They were led into one of the larger huts, where an old man with a beard that grazed the floor was sitting in front of a green fire. He had his eyes shut and was inhaling the smoke from the fire, but his eyes snapped open as the Doctor and Amy approached.

"You are not of this world," he said in a hoarse voice, fixing them with a piercing stare. "Why have you come?"

"I've come to talk to you," the Doctor said, sitting cross-legged in front of the fire and motioning for Amy to do the same. "I came here a long time ago, before the Asteroid."

"The prophecies were true, then," the old man said, with a grin that showed broken teeth. "I was told that a man would return, with a box that contained the universe. The man who saved our race. It is an honour."

"Oh, the pleasure's all mine," the Doctor said with an absent wave of his hand. "Anyway, when I came here before, your race was half-telepathic. You don't seem to be any more though, am I right?"

"Yes," said the old man. "The telepathy was abandoned a long time ago after a war broke out between two tribes. Our ancestors shielded themselves so well against their enemies that they forgot how to talk to their friends. It has been said that there is a last remaining tribe up in the Blue Mountains who still use the telepathy - pacifists who ran from the war and who have remained there since. No one has seen them for hundreds of years and we believe they may have died out."

"Right," the Doctor nodded. "Well, last time I came here, something must have invaded my ship because I've just had to get rid of the most stubborn telepathic virus you've ever known. Is there anything in your history about that?"

The old man leant forwards to examine the Doctor's face more closely. "What kind of virus? And why now, after all this time? Many hundreds of years have passed between your last arrival on our planet and now."

"Well, my ship is sort of… Alive. We have a telepathic connection, you see, and it was only recently that the virus found its way to her telepathic circuits and started attacking. It's not the first time something's been floating around for a while undetected, and I'm sure it won't be the last," the Doctor explained. "When the virus was attacking her, it was attacking me."

"And you have cured yourselves now, I presume?"

"Yes, with some difficulty," the Doctor said, with a sideways glance at Amy. "I was hoping that you might be able to tell me an easier way, in case of a relapse."

"You mean the Thagomiser virus? It is said that that attacks the telepathic cortex, and is very difficult to rid oneself of," the man said.

"Sounds like it, yeah," the Doctor said. "Is there a cure?"

"No," the old man said curiously. "How did you get rid of it?"

"Long story. There was a black hole involved," the Doctor said. He really wasn't in the mood to explain it all. He just wanted the meeting to be over and to get back into the TARDIS, to set off on another adventure way across the universe. Shooting a look at Amy, he made to stand up. "Thank you for your time," he said, holding out his left hand for the man to shake.

He had clearly done the wrong thing. The man suddenly swelled with anger, his eyes so wide that Amy was sure they would fall out of his head. The Doctor was already on his feet and pulling Amy over to the door as the man leapt to his feet with surprising agility for a man so old and wrinkled, advancing towards them with a spear that had appeared out of nowhere.

"Oh dear," the Doctor said.

"What now?" Amy said desperately.

"I think, perhaps -" he ducked and the spear flew over his head, narrowly missing his right ear. He shoved Amy out in front of him and grabbed her hand. "Run!" he shouted, dashing into the forest with her as several burly men moved towards them, cracking their knuckles threateningly.

They ran helter-skelter back through the forest, tearing through the shrubbery and ducking between the trees as poison darts thudded into the trees just behind them. They reached a fork in the path and the Doctor led them down the left without hesitation, only to skid to a halt seconds later and sprint in the opposite direction, shouting, "No, no, _this_ way!"

It started to rain heavily as they ducked out of sight behind a fallen tree and spotted a familiar blue box a hundred metres away. Cold water dripped down the back of Amy's neck and she shivered.

"Come on!" the Doctor yelled, running for the TARDIS through the torrential rain and putting on a burst of speed as shouts caught up with them and the thud of a spear told him he had narrowly avoided being hit in the shoulder. He snapped his fingers as he swerved around a tree, almost there, and he and Amy ran headlong through the doors as they swung open. They disappeared from sight, and the TARDIS followed soon afterwards with the ages-old wheezing, leaving nothing but the soft sound of rain pattering on the leaves.

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><p><em>AN - And finite. Now would be as good a time as ever to let me know what you thought (I will get back to you this time) as a whole and whatever. Thank you so much for sticking with me guys, I don't deserve you at all but you are all wonderful people and I love you._

_I'm off on expedition for three weeks but I have a couple of ideas that I may or may not get down before summer is over. Until then, take care._


End file.
